Authors

When Women Connect Co-Authors – Brenda Johnson and Michelle Morgan Spady

by Tyora Moody

Meet co-authors Brenda Johnson and Michelle Morgan Spady. These long-time best friends co-wrote Chapter 3 – Friends Discovered in Unlikely Places.

Podcast

Interview

Tell us about yourself.

Brenda:  My name is Brenda Johnson, Retired Teacher of more than 30 years. First time author. My husband is Jerome Johnson and we have four children (Allardyce, Carol/Shelton, and Adolphus), our daughter recently got married.

Michelle: ​I am Michelle Morgan Spady. Author, Entrepreneur, Former Teacher, Crafter.​ ​I have a husband, and a twenty-four year old son, who is an artist. We live in Reston, VA.

How did you meet and what were your first impressions of each other?

Brenda:  I met Michelle for the first time at church.  We often shared the same interests in church activities and found ourselves participating in many together.  Michelle is always so pleasant to be around, full of life and always an inspiration. We would talk and laugh for hours about our common interests.  Michelle and I both are former school teachers. My background is in General education and Special Education.

​Michelle: I first met Brenda at Shiloh Baptist Church. She had been a member for years and I was newcomer. I liked her right away because she was always warm and had a smile. When we found out that we were both educators and she taught Special Education, I felt that I had found a confidante. My son is on the Autism Spectrum and I felt that I could talk with Brenda about concerns and issues I had sometimes with him and school.​ She is always accommodating and willing to offer a hand. I can safely say I first met her when we began attending our church. My son was about 9 months old then.

How long have you been friends and what makes your friendship special?

Brenda: I can’t put a time frame on how long we have been friends, it just kind of happened.  We share the same interests and I have volunteered to help her with several projects. Our friendship is special because, when we are together, we talk a lot, but we also laugh a lot too.  We love working with children and serving/helping others. We both have a passion for working with special needs children as well. We talk about our journey as Christians, our love for God and we support each other.

Michelle: ​I can’t remember when we first considered ourselves “friends”. We aren’t even what some people, or we consider, “best” friends. We haven’t known each other all of our lives; and many of our life experiences have not been with each other.  It’s been a long time. When I started writing she was always supportive and always my first customer when I released a book. I’ve even had her beta read for me a couple of times. I think what makes our friendship special is the fact that we respect each other for who we are. We are from different backgrounds, but yet  we have some commonalities. We like some of the same movies, and projects. We both love God and church. We work on projects together and have had our families work with us and support each other. I feel as though I can always call on Brenda in a time of need and she’s got my back.​

Who are the other important women in your life?  Why are they important to you?

Brenda:  My Mom, Grandmothers and Aunts.  They taught me to put my faith and trust in God and to be strong and proud of who I am and how important it is to help others. My sisters are my pillars.  I can depend on them for their love, support not matter what. My daughter, I am so proud of the strong woman she’s becoming. She reminds me of my mom in a lot of ways.  She can be tough, and humble, with a big heart. My friends are special to me, they can count on me and me on them.

They have taught me to love unconditionally and not to take anyone for granted.  Some of them taught me how to cook and manage a household. All of them have taught me how important it is to have a relationship with God and to take care of family. One of them taught me to never give up on God. He can do what we think is impossible, even when we think we have passed that season in our life!  We have taught each other to aspire to be the very best we can be.

Michelle: My sisters and nieces. We are very close since my mother passed away in 2005. ​They are very important to me because I am the oldest and they look up to me as a role model. ​I believe it is very important for Black women to support each other in every capacity. Family is truly important on every level.

What advice do you have for women who have been hurt by other women and are afraid to try new friendships?

Brenda: First, realize that sometimes being hurt allows us to put things in perspective.  Get to know a person before you give them your whole life story, be careful of the position you put yourself in.   

My Husband once said, “God should be in everything we do or say, a constant part of our lives. Even the small things.  So then why not ask God for guidance/wisdom in choosing our friends. We also must realize that friends will, like us, “mess up,” at times, so be willing to forgive. Remember forgiveness is for us.  If we choose to hold a grudge against someone else, it reflects on us. Our demeanor changes and our heart hardens because of unresolved feelings. Which may eventually turn to anger. Don’t allow someone to have that much control over you.

The Bible teaches us to forgive, just as God forgives us. And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Eph. 4:32). I would not want someone else to cause me to jeopardize my relationship with God.  The Bible also teaches us that, if we do not forgive, God will also not forgive us. Forgiveness is not an easy task, but God never puts more on us than we can handle. Learn from the hurt and move on, with God’s help!

Michelle: ​My advice is to forgive as God has forgiven you. Life is too short to hold a grudge. People, not just women are different. They have different personalities, perspectives on life and things, and feelings about other people.

If you judge one bad friendship/relationship by another, you could be missing out on the “friendship” of a life time with another woman. As I mature in life and my Christian journey, I realize that we are supposed to mirror Christ our Savior. Jesus loves everybody! Grudges can kill you if you allow them to manifest. ​I would suggest that they pray on it and ask God to help them overcome the animosity in their heart, and to give them the strength and courage to forgive and forget. Trust God. Have faith. Try that new relationship! Maybe even work on the old one. Find out what the “real” truth or problem was and see if it’s fixable.

What advice do you have for making new friends or connections?

Brenda: In making new friends, be open-minded, you never know who you may connect with until you spend time with them.  Meeting new people opens the door to new adventures/ideas.

Michelle: ​In this day and age it is so easy to make new friends and connections with Social Media. I think technology makes it even easier than in the past because if you’re a shy person and not comfortable expressing your emotions or just communicating in general, you can do it online and not have to face anyone. Nothing beats the human touch or voice, but when it is not convenient or possible…Social Media is the next best thing! Make ​​a connection! Make a friend!​

Briefly describe your chapter in When Women Connect.

Brenda: In our chapter, we talk about what friendship means to us, our background, families and how we met.  Michelle and I both talk about how our friendship is important to us and our mutual respect. We are on our Christian journey together and God is very much a part of our lives as we mention several times.  Even though we were born in different locations, our families shared the same values of family, goals in life and having a love for people and God. Our chapter talks about how our friendship developed over time into a personal friendship as we participated in many activities/events together.

​Michelle: Our chapter in When Women Connect is about our personal friendship. We talk about how we met; what we think of friendships in general; what the Bible says about friendships and we reference our backgrounds and upbringings. We touch on how those two things, as well as life lessons, influence our perspectives on friendship as a whole. ​We feel that our upbringing has influenced the way we look at, feel about, and treat people. ​

Please tell us where we can connect with you online.

Brenda: Brendarjohnson121@gmail.com

Michelle: ​My website is www.michellespady.com and my email is m@michellespady.com​